I don't know why im posting there isn't anything going on! I'm supposed to be going somewhere tonight.....no idea where or with who but I know that I'm doing something! I'm so freaking bored. At least when I hung out with the old click I actually did stuff granted the stuff was with people that weren't the best friends a girl could have but I did do things. I realize that the people that I did hang out with weren't good for me but I miss having a life. I used to do things and go on "dates" and hang out. Now I go home or sit on my rear end at Jamies. I love her to death but we never do anything. It's hard to when she has a boyfriend that she hardly gets to see. Nothing against her b/c I do love her to death but I miss going out! I miss riding around Jonesboro until we found some guys to hang out with or partying with everybody or just riding around with a certain guy until 7 in the morning. I just miss it all. The summer is getting really depressing I need something to do. A vacation or something! I don't ever see Angela or Libby anymore and I'm not really complaining but they were always doin something. I of all people know that my old friends were horrible to me and blah blah blah but I'm just in a rut. At first I was content not doing anything and hanging out just me and jamie sitting at the house but its getting old. Anyway leave me a comment! Suggest something for me to do! Something!!!!!
So yeah I was so worried about which one to pick and being selfish enough to want both that I ended up losing them both. One well he just lost interest when I wouldn't do what he wanted me to and if he asked today I would still tell him no. The other well he got mad at me about something really stupid.....I realize what I did was wrong but what he did was worse! He ended up getting drunk and having sex w/ what I thought was a really good friend of mine and had been for years. Of all the people that I hang out w/ I had known her the longest and thought I could trust her. Oh well! I was really mad at first but now I just don't care. I mean I still miss him a lot mainly b/c we were really good friends before anything else. I want to hang out w/ him again, but I know that it would never be the same. I wouldn't ever be able to trust him again and we had never lied to each other about anything before. In other news everyone at work thinks that I'm sleeping w/ my ex-best friends baby's daddy. If any of them really had a clue of what was going on none of the b/s would be going on. We are just friends though he is cool as hell to hang out w/ he is like my bro. The ppl. that know the truth are trying to set me up w/ anybody and everybody. I swear to God. My mother has random guys that she works w/ calling my cell all hours of the night. Ashten is trying to set me up w/ a guy she knows. And Jamie bless her heart is trying to set me up w/ her step-broher and neighbor. Honestly I don't know that I'm really ready to be set up w/ anyone....I mean I've pretty much been screwed over by half the people I know in the last month and am not looking for more people to do that to me! Nothing much is going on but that I got my letter from ASU and I guess I'll be going there next year. Guess thats it and I'm tired so I'm about to curl up on the couch and watch a sappy movie. Love you all.....
Welp lots of bs has been goin on! YAY for DRAMA! Not really I'm not in high school anymore and don't want to feel like I am and that is exactly what McDonald's feels like! I still can't decide which one I want, does this shock anyone? How I feel depends on which one I'm around. I know that one of them is being really sweet and has never acted like this before and the other is always sweet. I know that one looks really good in tight jeans and a pearl snap and the other wouldn't be caught dead in it. I know that one is probably just messing with my head and the other is messing with his own head. I know that I don't really know anything for sure anymore. I mean a year ago I would have been right there all for the bs and now that he could really be growing up I can't bring myself to trust him. I'm trying b/c I want to so badly but is it too late? Could we ever be like we would've been had we gone out the first time? I can't tell. I know that the bear was sweet, the winks are cute, and that half smile when I have no idea what he is thinking is adorable. But if I feel all these things then why can I still picture myself cuddled up with the other watching movies or playing cards with all of us. How is it possible to want one guy SO MUCH and still picture another that way. Everyone that I get advice from keeps telling me different things so that's no help at all. The worse part about it is I'm going to be away from both of them next week for a whole week and I can't spend the enitire weekend with them both I have to split up the time. When I get them together one wants to kill the other, "This is yellow shirt" and the other is scared to death, "Hide me". And as much as I would like to think that this is over me somehow I think it is more about them being too different to spend any length of time with each other. Well I've rambled for a little bit here but I haven't told the good/really bad news. I'M GOING TO TEXAS! I'm completely excited but I wish I could take everyone with me. Well maybe just like ten people but I know that I don't really want to make the trip just me and angie b/c I don't really know jen all that well and haven't hung around Robbie since I was little. It should still be fun even if a certain person keeps making me feel like crap for going. I hope he calls me and if not then oh well I'll just have to find me a really hot guy in a cowboy hat, j/k! Guess I'm going to go now I have a ton of things to do and I'm procrastinating which I always do......
Okay so I'll admit I haven't used this thing in forever and the only reason I'm using it now is to make a shoutout to my HOOKER! I mean I don't talk to you everyday or anything. So things have been interesting......Birthday party kind of sucked with the unexpected drunkeness of someone. I love him to death but two nights in a row I spent the whole night taking care of him. I didn't get exactly what I wanted for my birthday I mean maggie told him exactly what I wanted but I still didn't get it! I guess maybe he had his reasons. I wish he would've talked to who he talked to that changed his mind before he made a bunch of promises he couldn't keep. But I've lived through it time and time again and I guess it will happen once more. Why am I so stupid as to believe him? I even messed up a really good thing for him this time. It wasn't a sure thing but a good thing still the same. I should be studying but I'm not does that shock anyone? I can't wait until next year since someone has decided not to leave me. If I could just talk the other one out of it we'll be okay. Freddy B. came back again and when he does get to leave in a couple of months he will be in the "special troop". Poor guy he wanted it so bad. I suppose that it would be better for my confusing friend to go but I'm selfish and I don't want him to leave. I want so badly to take Shelby's advice and just do it, but at the same time I don't want to push the whole situation further into a whole that it HURTS to climb out of next week when he decides he doesn't like me as much as he thought he did. Anyway so I've decided I definately won't be at Lyon next year I will either be at Newport of J-town. I want to go through with my plan with munchkin, but I don't know if its gonna be next semester or not. Anyway I really have to go and study a bit before my 11 chapter test in Visual Arts. Bleh!
Well the someone that didn't like me hanging out w/ Angela has apparently gotten over b/c yesterday we all hung out for a while. I guess I was getting all worked up and mad for nothing. So nothing really is going on.............I dyed my hair yesterday. It's quite as cool as Jess's, but I guess it'll work. (It kind of looks the same to me, but Maggie likes it.) I am SO READY to go home and go to the game and just hang out with everyone for a while. I did go to practice Wed. and it wasn't bad at all. Laura was there also and we talked a little. I talked to Will and apparently some stuff occured last year that I had no idea about, but I would like to remember it . I'm FREEZING!!!! I'm sitting in the library and it is SO COLD! I guess I'm going to go and get outside where it's warm.
, but I would like to remember it 
. I'm FREEZING!!!! I'm sitting in the library and it is SO COLD! I guess I'm going to go and get outside where it's warm. 
